Grief Support
Bereavement Services Offered to our Hospice Families
Bereavement services are a benefit provided to each of our hospice families. Our bereavement staff includes social workers and chaplains. Each one is trained in assisting our hospice families with grief and loss issues. We have tailored our bereavement program to meet a wide variety of interests and needs.
We offer books, pamphlets, and helpful videos which dicuss the issues surrounding grief, and we can direct our families to resources on the internet which are applicable to their grief journey. We also offer follow-up to family members following a death, including short term one-on-one counseling if needed. Our bereavement counselors are always available to talk with you over the phone if you are having a particularly bad day.
Stages of Grief
Grief is a painful and intense experience. As much as we would like to avoid the pain of grief, we must experience it in all its forms in order to heal. In that sense, grief is a journey that can take years to move through. Furthermore, in order to heal, grief requires our active participation. Each journey will be unique and personal, but each mourner will need to fulfill basic needs along the road. The following outline identifies seven needs that mourners must address in order to heal after the loss of a loved one.
- Feeling the shock, numbness and disbelief
- Understanding that the loss is real
- Experiencing the pain of grief
- Making a place for the person who died
- Searching for new meaning
- Developing new roles, routines and skills
- Finding hope in life again
*These ideas were adapted from Alan Wolfelt's "The Journey Through Grief: The Mourner's Six Reconciliation Needs."
Coping During the Holidays
The holidays are an especially difficult time for those of us who are grieving. Holiday decorations, special traditions, and especially the gathering of friends and family are difficult reminders that our special person is no longer with us. We know, too, that the holidays are supposed to be made up of happy, joyous times, yet we feel an emptiness that prevents us from joining in the fun. We are even upset by others around us who seem oblivious to our suffering, and we feel guilty if we allow ourselves to feel the slightest touch of the joy that marks the season.
Perhaps the biggest mistake most of us make in trying to get through the difficult holiday season is set up unrealistic expectations. We are pressured by those around us, and even ourselves, to make this holiday "normal", to forget our pain, and to get on with life. It is not possible, though, for most of us to experience a "normal" holiday after the death of a loved one. What is possible, however, is to acknowledge our loss and to anticipate the difficult feelings that will inevitably come. By following the next few simple guidelines, you can cope better through the holidays.
- Choose the activities in which you want to participate.
- Communicate your wishes with your friends and family.
- Be willing to make compromises.
- Remember that the holiday can be a time to celebrate.
- Find time to rest.
- Find a friend who will support you.
Of course, following all this advice will not guarantee you a holiday free from sorrow, but it will help you cope during a difficult time. Grief is a trying journey, especially at this time. Expect and allow yourself to feel the pain and the loneliness that will come, but also allowing yourself to feel the joy and the happiness that the holidays bring. By being honest with ourselves, we can in turn honor the memory of our loved ones.